7.24.2009

This is news?

Yesterday's Wall Street Journal featured a front page article on .... wait for it ... cankles! Yes, you read that right. Wall Street Journal. Front page. Cankles.

For the uninformed (mostly men, we'll assume), cankles are calf-ankles. The term originated in the movie Shallow Hal to describe thick ankles that don't taper. Apparently, cankles are the new body part that women are supposed to loathe and spend large amounts of money to remedy. Gyms are offering 'anti-cankle' promotions, and plastic surgeons are collecting thousands of dollars to do liposuction on the area. So you've crunched away your muffin top, Botoxed your wrinkles into submission, self-tanned to a proper shade of golden-but-heaven-forbid-not-orange, and think you're looking hot? Think again. You've forgotten to stress about your ANKLES, of all things, not living up to some absurd standard of beauty designed to turn gorgeous, curvy, unique, real women into living Barbie dolls.

To women, I say: Embrace your cankles! While you're at it, embrace your muffin top and your love handles and your pale skin and everything else that beauty magazines and gyms and now the freaking Wall Street Journal tell you is wrong. Own it, flaunt it, and don't give two seconds thought to anyone who says that you are anything but beautiful. Seriously, life is too short to worry about your ankles, and you can have way more fun with your time and money than getting liposuction and doing ankle exercises.

To the Wall Street Journal and Gold's Gym and the plastic surgeons out there? Well, I'm feeling too ladylike to tell you what needs to be said. Or maybe I should. Then your next article can be on 'Angry Girl Who's Had Enough Syndrome'. Finally, a disorder I can endorse!

Photo by stockingvixen

1 comment:

Craig Miyamoto said...

Ummmm ... is this something like "edema"? I'm at a loss for words. LOL.